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Choo-Choo Charles Review

This haphazardly assembled meme-come-to-existence is brief, stupid, and rather dull.

I even have an affinity for the absurd, stupid, and downright stupid (look no further than Goat Simulator three evaluation as proof), so after I heard approximately a recreation wherein you’re being stalked through the demonic equal of Thomas the Tank Engine, I was suitably excited. But at the same time as Choo-Choo Charles’ premise brings me no quit of pleasure, the janky and barebones journey itself is way more dull than I concept feasible. Unfortunately, this comedy game disguised as a horror sport manages to be without humor and terror in same measure, and despite the fact that the runtime is simplest about ninety mins, I found myself looking for a manner off this crazy train a great deal sooner.

Choo-Choo Charles might also present itself as nightmare fuel at the outdoor, however this whole recreation is truely just one extended funny story. Your journey starts with a bang whilst you board a educate with a gun installed on it and are immediately attacked by way of an evil railcar with spider legs, but due to the fact that the ones establishing moments are the first-rate a part of everything, you’re in for a run of the mill jaunt thereafter. In order to kill Charles, you’ll must journey round an island completing quests for NPCs to upgrade your weapons and improve your train’s stats, till you face ol’ Choo-Choo himself in a very last showdown. Its intentionally humorous nature is plain in the entirety from its ridiculous characters to the idiotic duties they give you – which incorporates having you seek out a jar of pickles for a lady who’s enthusiastic about the fermented delicacies – however maximum of these things aren’t in particular funny.

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Choo-Choo Charles’ over-the-top story may also look like the correct setup for a hilarious odyssey, but it almost constantly misses the comedic mark with dull writing and forgettable characters that don’t even attempt to take advantage of that farcical goldmine. The voice acting is appropriately stupid and actually doesn’t take itself severely, which is amazing, but the talk being examine plays things a ways straighter, and I couldn’t help however time and again shake my head at all the overlooked possibilities for hijinks. There’s one component in which an NPC explains that you may improve your educate without acknowledging how insane that proposition is, and every other in which a person asks you to get revenge for her husband’s dying but doesn’t make hay out of the truth that her loved became literally eaten by means of an evil train. It become all in order that painfully unfunny, and that hurts me.

Most of the time you’ll be driving your teach through barren and empty environments, stopping to gather scrap steel or complete a dull quest alongside the way that could have you ever fetch a few object for someone or lockpick a nearby chest in a terribly dull lockpicking minigame. The uneventful foremost quest has you looking down 3 eggs, that are apparently youngsters of Choo-Choo Charles ready to hatch into additional railcar abominations, and can be used to entice him into a very last deathmatch. To get keep of those eggs, you’ll want to talk to three NPCs who rattle off the precise equal exposition about them, then send you right into a mine to steal the egg wherein you need to keep away from dumb cultists wearing shotguns in some simply horrid stealth sections.

The on-foot stealth sections are aggressively not a laugh.“

These brief bits are little more than a series of hallways with masked enemies strolling round in which your simplest choice is to keep away from them. You aren’t given any guns aside from those you maintain in your teach, so that you’ll both should sneak round and anticipate NPCs to walk via, or simply run beyond them given that they’re slow, silly, and feature bad goal. Sneaking is aggressively no longer amusing, for the reason that only device you’re given to aid you is the ability to lean left or right to see around corners from cover. You can’t distract enemies, do stealth takedowns, or maybe crouch to aid you within the effort. Personally, I determined it more bearable to simply run beyond the whole thing, grasp the egg, and go away. Or in case you’re feeling cheeky, simply lead the enemies outdoor the mine, hop to your train, and kill them along with your weapons (though that isn’t truely worth the time required to drag it off).

As you progress thru the story, once in a while you’ll pay attention a sinister train whistle and recognize that you’re chugging in the direction of a confrontation rapidly, however any wish for pleasure is run flat because it’s the same encounter every and each time. When the teach appears you’ll need to keep shifting and use any guns you’ve were given to do some harm before Charles retreats to lick his wounds and begin the predictable manner again. In the earliest part of the journey you’ll be some distance too susceptible to face the depraved locomotive and will almost sincerely get murdered, for which there are practically no effects. But after you have a few enhancements and a pair new weapons, just like the lethal flamethrower or the rocket launcher that takes way too lengthy to reload, you’ll be capable of fend off Charles with out difficulty.

It’s in order that disappointing that all of these encounters is equal. Choo-Choo Charles just chases after your educate swiping at you until you do sufficient damage to make him leave you on my own, rinse and repeat. Even while you get to the final showdown, which took me much less than two hours both instances I beat it, the simplest exchange is that he gets bigger and once in a while teleports to throw you off. The demon train doesn’t use any new assaults or marvel you in any manner, that means every time you face him after the primary time is just a predictable humdrum as you coast along the railway. All of the capacity fear element is sucked out of the enjoy and changed with monotony.

Choo-Choo Charles has a especially low-finances feel, like how all the NPCs appear to be they’re characters in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion and don’t circulate their lips when they communicate. In a few methods that works in favor of its absurdist fashion, but in others, it’s less charmingly terrible and extra outright irritating, like the way it on occasion bugs out. In one instance, the improve menu popped up for the duration of the very last cutscene, which supposed I didn’t get to watch the whole finishing of the marketing campaign till my second playthrough. That stage of jank simply kinda sucks, even supposing it’s being unpolished makes sense for a game this sarcastic in its introduction.


Choo-Choo Charles is a silly mess of an journey, with its comic story of a premise falling short of ever delivering the punchline. Combat against the evil teach is usually tedious and repetitive, and going for walks quests strolling is even more unappealing with awful stealth sections via dilapidated hallways. Throw in some disturbing insects and a lifeless, empty map, and this funny nugget of an concept disappoints in such a lot of methods it in reality makes me irritated. Sadly, I ought to suggest you choo-pick a unique way to spend a while.

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