Goat Simulator 3 Review

Goat Simulator 3

I’m not sure if I’ve ever played anything as mind-blowingly insane in the same way as Goat Simulator3. Coffee Stain’s uncompromising attitude is evident throughout the game, from the confusing “story” to the gameplay that’s so absurd that for a large portion of the time it’s difficult to know what’s going on. even the game refuses to follow the rules, by skipping Goat Simulator 2 and going straight to three without specific reason. 

Combine four players in a co-op mode that takes the madness to an even higher level when you slash across a vast open-world area that is full of things to headbutt, lick and explode, and you’ve got an experience that is so bizarre it’s impossible to imagine getting bored for an instant. The demented sequel is even more bizarre and full of silly humor and pop culture references, and among the most absurd things I’ve ever witnessed. The first time I saw it was, love. sight.

Similar to the first game, Goat Simulator 3 is an open-world sandbox that doesn’t even care about things like tutorials or any other direction in its absurd plot (if you could even refer to it as this). . Instead, it allows you to let your friends out around the world, and then says “go ahead, smash everything,” as you complete a variety of non-sequitur tasks and acts of mayhem. 

It’s normal for goats to do things such as dropping an explosive nuclear bomb in an alleyway or cause three ballerinas to transform into a massive tornado that will never stop for the duration of your journey, or even cause cars to crash through your friends’ houses to the point that they blast off (both the cars and the people). In contrast to the previous Goat Simulator, this time you will be given specific objectives as well as a quest log which guides players to increase your Illuminati Ranks, enhancing the level of your Goat Castle base and finally achieving the most bizarre conclusion in about eight hours. 

The quests are as crazy as you’d imagine for a game like this: I was elected president after taking citizens screaming and kicking to the polling booth using my tongue. In another, I had to enter the facility in order to unleash an anthropomorphic race of bananas all over the world. And in another, I just did some for a bird’s eye view. I had no idea what they would be throwing at me at any particular moment and it was a delight.

What We’ve said about Goat Simulator

Goat Simulator 3 Review

“Goat Simulator” isn’t a lot of an experience however it’s a lot of a fun time. The tiny but intricate map is full of fun and bugs that are best observed rather than discussed There’s certainly an hour of fun playing using the jetpack on its own. It’s a clever play on all the game mechanics that are broken we’ve encountered in open worlds. It’s something akin to an album of greatest hits featuring all the absurd bugs that appear in more serious games like Skyrim or Assassin’s creed, but embraced and celebrated in the world designed to break.” Dan Stapleton, April 1, 2014 Dan Stapleton, April 1st 2014

Score: 8

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There’s no health bars and you aren’t actually injured by anything, meaning there’s no real consequences for any action you take that could be an advantage and a negative thing. On one hand, you are able to tackle issues with reckless abandon without worrying about failing in any endeavor – but on the other hand, it eliminates any possible obstacle and means that you’ll get over any obstacle easily. The fun is in the creative way to accomplish your goals for example, such as when I turned me into tiny fish in order to get around security systems and evade a heist.

Additionally, you’ll be required to complete the list of less significant problems called Instincts. They could have you detained by police for a specific number instances, set people on the fire or drive a vehicle up a hill just for fun All of these can be fun diverting, chaotic activities. There are also items that are available for sale that are usually hidden in areas that require you to jump off rooftops or doing other silly activities. But, given numerous insane and powerful devices that it’s simple to find solutions such as using extendable stilts to raise your body to a certain height. 

Once you’ve figured that out, collecting items becomes a straightforward hunt for treasures with no difficulty to it. These collectibles and instincts won’t aid in boosting your Illuminati ranks or complete the game however, they can help you earn Goat points to purchase cosmetics. Some are even a part of the game, such as rocket launchers that you can wear around your back, as well as butterfly wings which allow you to fly in the air. Or, you can buy a skin dubbed Tony Shark that swaps out your goat’s body to an animal riding the skateboard, or whatever is floating on your goat.

A major enhancement over the previous version is the Goat Simulator 3’s universe is much larger and full of surprises and random encounters. There’s a creepy cemetery with ghosts, a sprawling city with towering skyscrapers for you to scale, as well as a woodland area. Each offers its own unique vibe and collection of weird things to find. In one area that is hidden I played an almost beat-for-beat version that was a recreation of the P.T. demo dubbed Horror Corridor, except with stupid goat goodness in place of the creepy woman. Discovering these strange events and hidden Easter eggs was the most fun part of this sandbox. Many times, it left me in awe.

Although Goat Simulator 3 is entertaining enough by itself but the real potential of this massive island of absurdity is realized when you play it together with your friends. It’s not just possible to play co-op with four other players online and offline, but you’re also capable of doing it via local splitscreen. I’m not aware of any other game has been more appropriate for a sofa full of the degenerates I refer to as friends than this. 

The chaos that I created with my friends does more than just increase the chaos, with more than four times the amount of goat psychos in the game and causing havoc, but it also allows you to get through the game 4 times as fast, because everyone is able to tackle missions that span across different regions of the map with no problem. But most of the time, my group was a mess of squabbling with each other, rather than producing anything. 

There’s also a half dozen mini-games that are competitive, such as King of the Hill or The Floor is Lava, that are fun ways to kill time however, they’re all quite simple and become boring after playing for a few times. exploring the world in open space and headbutting police cars is much more fun.

The main issue in Goat Simulator 3 is that it’s plagued by bugs and low performance, but honestly these problems can make you feel at an environment this chaotic. I stumbled into areas I didn’t intend to be in I shook the framerate up to alarmingly low levels when I was in the middle of a particularly violent chaos, and much more. There’s also a lot of sloppy pop-ins that make the game appear rough in a way that doesn’t seem like part of the fun. This was especially true when playing on splitscreen where a lot of goats pushed the boundaries of the game’s stability however none of them did any harm to the game overall.


Goat Simulator 3 is the improvement in the idiocy I was hoping for from this famously bizarre series. It’s not likely to impress you with its quality or compelling story, but at times it’s good to switch off your brain and put your feet in the face of an old lady as she shoots rocket launchers at you. With a wider map, more absurd references and hilarious jokes and a multiplayer system that only amplifies the absurd fun, I’d highly recommend this to anyone who has a an appreciation for its wacky sense of humor , and some time to kill.

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